Ask Laura
Q: I found my husband on a website called rape and torture. Should I be alarmed?
He seems to be obsessed with bondage which he was able to keep from me until I got a computer virus and reformatted my hard drive. I hadn't installed the utility to cover IE tracks so I was able to review all the website he went to. it freaked me out. is it normal for a 40 year old man to want to fantasize about brutalizing, raping, torturing younger woman? I don’t know what to do.
A:
Maybe it's a problem or maybe it's just like slowing your car down on the highway as you roll past an accident to view the horror and gore. Possibly he came across one site and it struck him as so bizarre he went in search of other wacky adults playing in the S&M scene. What I find really disturbing is that you seek advice from total strangers rather than simply having the conversation with your husband. Possibly the reason that he looks at different loving web sites is your relationship is too isolated and confined. Learn to listen, learn to trust, and if you can't provide him with love and support have the good taste to let him find someone who can.